sucked in

right now i'm home in between being gone (makes sense). just returned from quebec and will go to india in january and africa in between. i feel like i'm stretched in ten million directions and i don't know where my focus should be. and in the meantime it's tough not to get sucked into society here as it slowly allures me and pulls me in. all the materialism and other stuff i noticed on coming home is now creeping into my own life and i don't want it! yet i do... as paul said, i am a wretched man (woman in my case) that i do not do what i want to do and i do what i don't want to do. but there is freedom in Christ. i just need to let go of the stuff i'm tightening my grip around right now...