santa

Today I didn't have so great a day at work. I was snappy and in a bad mood. I just don't really understand why that happens. As I was reading my bible and praying this morning, the verse that kept coming back to me was matthew 6:33, "seek ye first the kingdom of God, and HIs righteousness...and all these things shall be added unto you." For a long time I have been seeking things for myself. It's all about me. It's masked so it seems like it's all about others, but in the end, I always end up benefitting from it...

As I was reading a book this morning I realized that I view God as my "santa clause". something i've always heard of, but never really looked at as something that characterizes my view of God. I have a relationship with Him, but now I see that I"m in the relationship for what I get out of it and as I'm with Him, I'm simply using Him. I have some friends that I sometimes feel used my and it doesn't feel so great after awhile.. When suddenly I realized that that's how I've been treating God, it hit me pretty hard. I want to know God and know His character. And have a two way relationship with Him. Yet I keep going to Him to ask Him for things and to get what I want or think I need in life...