creating ishmael

yesterday i was reading in genesis in the garden and read the story of sarai, abram and hagar. one i've read many times, but yesterday i clearly saw myself as sarah and how God promises one thing and I take it and do things my way and as a result ishmaels are born. And then as Abraham said later on as a cop out to God, he said "Oh God that you might bless Ishmael!" How many times do I come to God and say, "Hey God, bless my sin! Bless my efforts! Bless what I've tried to do apart from you!"