Seeing Weak Eyes with New Eyes

This morning I was reading in Genesis and I was prompted to go back to the story of Leah. One that I recently read and pondered about, but this morning in a deeper way God gave me a way deeper understanding of this woman and what she went through and how it translates so perfectly into our lives. In Genesis it says that Leah had weak eyes. So I find it interesting that God gave me new eyes to see those weak eyes.

I've just been thinking a lot lately about how women think and are and how we function in today's society, specifically concerning with men. Leah was the eldest and her younger sister Rachel was beautiful in face and form. Leah however is referred to as having weak eyes. So throughout their growing up years, I'm sure Rachel always got all the attention and Leah was always in the background looking on. Jacob comes into town and falls in love with Rachel. In a horrible deception, Laban gives Leah to Jacob on the wedding night and in the morning when he sees it's her, he goes straight to Laban and demands that he is able to marry Rachel as well. Meanwhile, Leah is left there by herself, right after her wedding, abandoned by her husband who doesn't love her.

Leah longs for Jacob's love and acceptance. When God blesses her and she becomes pregnant, she finally thinks that she will be able to win the love and affection of her husband. After each son is born however, she hopes for it, doesn't receive it, but puts her hope in the next child she'll have. Finally on the fourth child, Judah, she stops and says, "this time I will praise the Lord." Interesting that Judah is the line of Christ, and in a sense, she's resting here and praising God. Praising Him that He's enough. Praising Him that He loves her. Praising Him that she is validated in who she is completely by Him.

Of course, often when we come to revelations as such in life and stop and praise God, we fall again as I was reminded of today. We sink back into the mode of being validated by those around us and seeking their love because for some reason it feels like it will fulfill us and make us feel better. Leah continues the child bearing war with her sister as they both have two children through their maids and then Leah has three more children afterwards and never comes to a place where she even receives the love of her husband. Her children are even less favored than those of Rachel. So Leah probably lived a hard and not so happy life, because she focused on the love she never got from her husband, when all along her Heavenly Father was waiting there wanting to drench her completely in His love and acceptance.

How often we are like Leah, seeking love and acceptance from those around us, thinking it will validate and complete us, when in reality God needs to fill that place first and foremost. I think too often I know that God loves me and I know He's good, but none of me believes it. I proclaim it, but when I look at my life, the way I act and react to different things, I realize that I don't live out those truths. I need to better understand what exactly His love is and what exactly His goodness is. Not sure if that makes any sense and it's something I have to think about more.

I have so much more I could and want to say about all this, but I'll leave it here. I think we all have to come to that decision place of whether or not we'll continue the battle in this world seeking love and acceptance from those around us, or whether we'll stop right where we're at and praise God. What are your thoughts?