Saturday, December 10, 2005
looking down from up high
Today didn't start off so great. My mouth was really hurting from recently having all four wisdom teeth removed and then once I got to work things just seemed to go downhill from there. It all comes back to perspective though I think. Do I have a right to be in a bad mood? In seeing everyone else in the world and seeing what they're dealing with? Maybe, maybe not. I'm not really sure. In light of everything going on around me, is it fitting for me to be in a bad mood just because immediate circumstances seem to give me permission. Doesn't seem right. Yet I subject myself to it over and over again. I look down at everything around me from my narrow steeple of self-righteousness and because I'm blinded into thinking I'm so good, everything around me looks horrible, spoiling my perfect little world that I convince myself I live in. To see myself as I truly am would be scary. Yet I need to let others see that too. Sometimes I just want to keep going with my seemingly perfect, self-righteous world, because at times it seems easier. But it's not worth it.
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1 comment:
Nessa,
I ran across your comment when you ran across Courtnay's blog and posted a comment. I have a daughter Pamela who is 20 and blogs a lot.
I wouldn't normally write to a young lady who probably doesn't even know who I am. But it just so happened that first I read your Narnia post (and loved it), and then I read this post.
You have asked us to join you in battle. We are in battle. Our enemy has wounded you (or is trying to) with a dart tossed your way about self righteousness and looking down on others.
I will speak from my own experience. When Satan or my own fallen self has shown me how unworthy I really am, there are times when I have been tempted to despair that God could truly save a wretch like me. Once God spoke powerfully to me that I was underestimating who He is if I thought He was incapable of saving me. I was literally embarrassed to think I had thought less of God than he deserves. So I purposed that every time I started to wonder if I was a hopeless case, I would remember that God is able!
God bless you! We don't really know each other, but I am pleased to know we are doing battle together.
Kent (aka Pamela's Dad)
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