Perfectionism

First of all, thank you to those who have responded to the challenge put out there as part of a previous post! I encourage you to continue doing so! As I was reading Becky's, I was really encouraged. As I read about her successes and accomplishments, it encouraged me that I can also succeed and do good things and it was truly inspirational! So let yourself be an encouragement to those around you!

March 19th has finally come and is almost over!! I have been dreading this day for a couple months now as it was the day of my 75 minute presentation in my psych of religion class. phewf! it's done (except for the paper).. SO good to be done it and not have to worry about it! I also got my midterm back in that class and got way better than I thought! I got 98%!! The matching section was scaled down which was the thing that bumped my mark up! But I was just happy to have done well!

Something I struggle with a lot is being a perfectionist. I used to always think it was a good thing, because then it would mean that all of the things I produce would be perfect.. hmm. not so. One of the theorists we have looked at in class talks about perfectionism being neurotic. The traits she gives to perfectionism (most of which i had fit perfectly) were
1. satisfaction-one will never be satisfied, because what will be good enough?
2. all or nothing-if you can't do it perfectly, why do it at all?
3. living under the tyranny of shoulds/oughts/musts: leads to guilt
4. mistakes: we tend to point out our mistakes first before other people have a chance to point them out
5. Procrastination: putting off doing certain things so that later on you can have an excuse as to why you did bad (you didn't put much time into it).. serves as a safety buffer
6. Sacrificing Quantity for Quality
7. The parity between satisfaction and performance: when you perform better, ironically you will most often not be more satisfied

So in looking at those I realized that shoot! I definitely live under these things and I don't want to, because it totally takes away from my enjoyment of life, because I can never live up to this unattainable standard that I have put in place for myself. The other day it kind of hit me hard in realizing that the fact that I am a perfectionist totally jades the way in which I view God. I make Him out to be a perfectionist (well He is perfect, but that's not what I mean). I think that the way He looks at me is through the perfectionist view.. if only I could be a bit better, etc. And so I never feel good enough! A huge load fell off my shoulders in suddenly realizing that God is not a perfectionist in the way He looks at me. And I don't need to be a perfectionist either! I simply need to live my life truly and give it my all within the time and energy that I have and that will be good!

This last week has been amazing as God continually takes burden after burden off of my shoulders and more and more I am feeling incredibly free! After all, it is for freedom that Christ has set us free! So why not live in it!