Expectations

Lately I have been thinking a lot about expectations. I was examining three aspects of expectations: expectations of myself, of others and that others have of me. At first I thought I had no expectations of others, then I realized that I have far too many expectations of other people.. I have expectations of perfection for myself and I project those on other people. I can't meet those, neither can others and so nobody wins in the end.

I want to write a quote from 'The Shack' that was talking about expectations versus living in expectancy. It has helped me reframe this for myself as I approach my relationships and God with a new perspective.

"Let's use the example of friendship and how removing the element of life from a noun can drastically alter a relationship. Mack, if you and I are friends, there is an expectancy that exists within our relationship. When we see each other or are apart, there is expectancy of being together, of laughing and talking. That expectancy has no concrete definition; it is alive and dynamic and everything that emerges from our being together is a unique gift shared by no one else. But what happens if I change that 'expectancy' to an 'expectation'-spoken or unspoken? Suddenly, law has entered into our relationship. You are now expected to perform in a way that meets my expectations. Our living friendship rapidly deteriorates into a dead thing with rules and requirements. It is no longer about you and me, but about what friends are supposed to do, or the responsibilities of a good friend."

I understand what is being said here and it makes perfect sense, but I'm still trying to wrap my mind around how to actually can apply to my daily life. Is it truly possible to live free of expectation? As I approach God, I come full of expectations of what I feel He should do and what I think should happen in my life. I insert law into it and attempt to dictate the way in which it goes. Yet, I limit God and leave disappointed and miss completely what He is actually doing and what He is speaking to me. Interesting to consider.

Family Gatherings and Friends

On Boxing Day and the 27th I had two family gatherings. On Boxing Day it was with my mom's side of the family. We're fairly big, so usually whoever is hosting it uses their church for us to meet! It's always so much fun hanging out and eating and laughing together. Every year we have a doubles ping pong tournament and it's a lot of fun! Here's some pics from that gathering:

My cousin Mika and I

My cousin Desiree and I

Desiree, Omi and I

Lucas, Chad and Bobbi (my sibs)

A bunch of cousins and a couple uncles

hahaha.. Okay, so my aunt doesn't normaly looks like this, but she was trying to be cross-eyed for the picture and was laughing at the same time and this is the snapshot I got!! :)

My cousin Fred and his wife Tarah

My cousin Devon

My mom and Bobbi posing with the cake my mom slaved over!!

The first and second place teams for the ping pong tournament

My Uncle Pete and I who were on a team together for the tournament

After the tourney, we like to play the blowing game where you have to blow the ping pong ball away from you so it doesn't fall off the table where you are. It's hilarious to play and it's hard not to laugh the whole time!

I made it to the final three.. you can tell in this picture we're all ready to blow! haha

Omi wanted a picture with some of her grandsons to see who was the tallest

Omi with some of her grand-daughters

These pics are from my family gathering from my dad's side of the family. It was pretty snowy and so it took people a while to get there because the roads were slippery. My car wouldn't make it up the hill to their house, so my cousin and uncle had to come rescue me! We had a huge feast and played the gift exchange game. It's always fun to see what everyone brings, because a few people have trademark gifts they put in every year. This year, as every year, I was reminded of my Opa, Oma, Dad and brother who aren't with us. Empty spots around the table are reminders of loss, but also reasons to celebrate because the richness of life and joy they brought to us. While eating dinner I was thinking about how every year my dad would always forget to take the buns out of the oven for the meal and we'd always find them afterwards. I am thankful for all the good memories for sure.

My friend Lindie from Calgary came out for a few days to visit. She went to the hockey game with my mom while I went to my family gathering. I would have loved to see the Canucks beat the Flames with her (she's a big Flames fan), but my mom got to enjoy it instead!

Kelly, Lindie and I went for dinner in Vancouver to our favorite Japanese/Korean bbq place where it's all you can eat and you get to cook your meat!! it was so much fun! Then we went to two different theatre sports afterwards in Granville Island.

And so ends my whack of posts. Perhaps there will be a few more soon about things I have been thinking about! :) Hope you are all enjoying the holidays and time with family and friends!

Birthday/Christmas Eve

So this picture and the next are actually from Boxing Day, but I posted them, so here they are. My cousin Desiree and I made about 100 jam jams on Boxing Day! Jam Jams are a classic cookie in our families and we always have a lot of fun making them!! And they're SOOO good!

On Christmas Eve, Chad, Bobbi, and Lucas all came over for a brunch and then we opened our Christmas presents!

Lucas, my mom and I

Bobbi and I

In the evening, family and friends joined us after church at The Keg for dinner. Then we went to my house for cake and games and hanging out. Above is the cake my mom had made for me which was very special! :)

Chrystal and Kacey playing 'Things'. Chrystal got me the game for my birthday and it was funny, because that's the exact same thing I got her! haha.. It's a great game-lots of fun!

Carrie, Desiree and Brooke

On Christmas Day, I didn't have anything to do, so I went over to Chrystal's house where we played some games in the morning. Then they invited me to join them for their Christmas supper and hanging out. It was so much fun! Thanks guys for including me in your family and making me feel totally welcome! It was a great way to spend Christmas! :) Chrystal, Tasha, Kaeli and I all went to a late movie afterwards. We saw National Treasure (the second one) and it was pretty good. haha.. they even leave it wide open for a third one!

Mexico!

Cheryl and I left my house at 1am and drove down to Seattle to catch our 6am flight. By the time we got to the airport we were pretty tired but that made things a lot funnier. My favorite was the self check-in that we had to do. We had to scan our passports but we couldn't figure out how you could stuff your passport in the little slot that was there. "American passports must be smaller" we decided.. then we realized that I was blocking the nice big scanner that was quick and easy to scan the passport. haha..

Finally we arrived in Puerta Vallarta where we went to our resort, Samba Vallarta. Here was the view from our lawnchairs on the first day.

This was my fake camera for the week which conveniently I used as a bookmark. I read eight books in seven days! Lots of good thinking material and relaxation! So nice to not read school material. I read 'The Shack' (SO good and challenging), 'My Name is Asher Lev', 'Blink of an Eye', 'Sex God', 'Becoming Human', 'As the Leaves Fall', 'Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants', and 'Messy Spirituality'. It was a great mix of easy reading and good thinking material at the same time.

The sunsets every night were absolutely stunning!

View from the beach lawnchairs.

Cheryl and I out for dinner at the Italian restaurant at the resort. Well, at least the restaurant was fancy... hehe

We had a nice convo with the couple at the table across from us. We hung out with them a bit through the week as well.

Eating the Christmas tree... we thought it was pretty.

Cheryl, Willie and I

Willie and I

Every day we got little towel animals on our beds. We were pretty excited about the bunny.

Our favorite bar tender, Martin. He always made special drinks for us to try out.

We decided it would be nice to feed each other.. hahaha

Fire!! They burn the liquor before the put it in your coffee and pass it from container to container-it's pretty cool!

Tequila shots with the waiters

All the kids were going up for pictures, so we decided we would too! haha..

Yair and his new friend at the disco.

Last day on the beach

Cheryl and I decided we were sick of being selected for special screening at the airport! one time, okay, but both times??

We had a great relaxing week! We almost didn't make it home as our flight from San Fransisco to Seattle was randomly cancelled. But luckily we got on a different flight flying standby (even though there were over thirty people on the list!) We got home in the wee hours of the morn, just in time for my birthday on Christmas Eve! (and that is my perfect segue to the next post!)