The Narrow Path

"Enter through the narrow gate;for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it." Matthew 7:13-14
Often we brush this passage off as talking about non-Christians, but I think we miss the message. I believe this verse is talking about Christians. Our society seems to have created this broad wide path that is pretty easy to walk on. We can be a Christian, enjoy life, worship gods that don't come in statue form, and we can live in sin calling it our culture. From what I've read in the bible, it doesn't seem to be that easy.
So what does it look like to walk on the narrow path then? Counting the cost of following Christ, and dying to ourselves daily, moment by moment. Glorifying Christ in all we do and living solely for that purpose. I find myself glancing to the wide path and wanting to walk on it because it's easier. But I know in the end it's not goign to satisfy. What path are you walking on?

Tired

As I reach the end of my week I see that I've simply been going through the motions. I've gone to work, socialized with friends, enjoyed myself greatly, but I'm exhausted and worn and discouraged. And I have to ask myself why. Then I realize that I've spent the majority of this week focused on me and my entertainment. When I've woken up every day, my object has been simply to tackle the things ahead and get through. In reality, I really need to be pouring every day into Christ and what He has for me and letting His life reign in me. Pouring my life out to Him so that at the end of the week/day I don't feel as though I'm simply sitting with everything still in me. As Christ promised in John 8, I want to have His rivers of life flowing out of me! Wow.. the thought blows me away!

accountability

I left the house at six this morning and didn't get back until ten!! Crazy!! But it's been good to start putting myself into routine. Of course, always making the effort to not simply let the routine take control, but rather to live life to the fullest while having a bit of structure. it's nice sometimes! ;)

So last night I was able to share completely honestly with a friend a bunch of stuff that was going on in my life. I had come to the point of pouring my heart out before the Lord and tried justifying it that that was enough, but God kept pressing it on my heart to share and bring it to the light with someone and it's been so freeing! Hard for sure, but God's continually showing me the value of accountability with others and His purpose in community.

Tonight when I got home I had a letter!! It was from a school of photography and some of my pictures were selected as finalists in their competition! As a result, the one(s) they chose will be published in a magazine/hardcover issue. I'm excited to have my work somewhere and the possibility of maybe further winning something!! Yay!! so that's my exciting news with everything else!

dancing and more dancing

So the day in Vancouver yesterday was tons of fun! Upon our arrival we heard music, so we went to investigate and discovered there was a breakdancing competition going on with team different teams competing! It was so cool to watch. It always amazes me how those guys move around! Incredible! Then we went to the Bhangra Dance Competition and it was awesome! I thoroughly enjoyed it! And a local team, UBC Girlz won as well. Go Vancouver! Then after a bite to eat at the oh so famed White Spot, we headed to the after party where I also got to do a bit of dancing! I tried to blend in as much as I could of course... it was a lot of fun and definitely interesting to watch everyone around me.

i've been thinking a lot about the comment discussion that was had on a friend's blog about loving sin and being saved from it. i've been struggling immensely desiring things that I know are totally wrong and I find it's hopeless that I'm stuck in this sin, but then I realize that Christ died to save me and I can walk in full victory if only I'm willing to die to myself and truly count the cost of what it means to let go of something I seem to love and desire in the moment. My prayer is that God would completely fill those desires as I slowly loosen my grip on the worldly fulfilment of them...

VIBC

Today I am going to Vancouver for the 'Vancouver International Bhangra Celebration.' First we're going to the dance competition and then we're going to the big after party where we will get to do some Bhangra dancing ourselves!!! I'm really excited! I'll probably be one of the only white people there, but that's all right. I'll pull out my Bhangra moves and dance away! For those of you who don't know, Bhangra is Punjabi music and it's Indian. It's gonna be fun!!
On another note, my brother phoned me this morning and asked if I wanted to work full time in his office!! which means i have a job and a good one at that!! Yay! And it's all been in perfect timing! Have a great weekend all!

Water

Went to Vancouver tonight to go see a movie there called 'Water'. It's the third in a trilogy by a Canadian director. It was such an incredible movie. It's about a seven year old Hindu girl that is widowed and goes to live in a widow house where they're all to be practising self-denial. The movie was well done and there were tons of amazing messages with it. I would highly recommend it.

I've watched quite a few foreign movies lately and the thing that is always so different is that the endings often leave you hanging and they're quite sad... Here in North America all our movies have happy, nicely packaged endings that leave you feeling warm and fuzzy. Yet that's not reality. Interesting how they present it as it is.

On another note, the car alarm sage continues as my controller to turn off my alarm wouldn't work after the movie, therefore causing my alarm to go off and my car not to start. Oh the fun! I thought i was stuck there, but eventually somehow I got the car started and I drove home! Of course that was only after standing on the Vancouver street helplessly listening to the alarm go off for quite some time...

judging

I often catch myself being judgmental of those around me and I hate it. It drives me crazy and I so often just want to cast it off, but I can't.. I ran across this quote this evening from Henri Nouwen,

"Only when we claim the love of the crucified Christ with heartfelt conviction, the love that transcends all judgments, can we overcome all fear of judgment. When we have become completely free from the need to judge others, we will also become completely free from the fear of being judged...The experience of not having to judge cannot co-exist with the fear of being judged, and the experience of the crucified Savior cannot co-exist with a need to judge others."

As long as I'm judging others, I have a fear of judgment, meaning I haven't fully embraced or even begun to understand Christ's immense love for me.

prayer

I've decided in the next couple of months to read through the bible reading down any places where someone prays or talks to God. As I've been going through the book of Genesis, I was surprised at how little talking there was to God. But there was tons of communication as God was continually talking to the men and women throughout. God would tell them something, and usually they would build an altar and respond in simply praising Him for who He is. Most of the time when they're recorded speaking to God, it's in response to a question from God.

What a contrast to how I usually approach a prayer time. Most of the time I come filled with words and requests, yet God wants to do most of the talking. But I can't hear Him, because I'm too loud. It was surprising for me to see this in the beginning of my study, but really good, because it's changing a lot of the way I think about prayer...

2006

It's the New Year. I don't make New Year's resolutions or anything like that, because as I mentioned before, I don't like New Year's much. But I was in church and the line that was key in the sermon was: "Who's life will be better in 2006 because of you?" So often we think of all the things that will help us improve ourselves and it's all about us. But what would happen if all of us suddenly had an outward focus on those around us and in making an eternal impact in their lives? What would the world look like if we did that? Even if I just lived like that?

cupcakes

Yesterday, Sandy, Leslie and I went to Vancouver for the evening. We went for all you can eat Japanese and then proceeded to the cupcake store. very nice cupcakes. we just ate them for breakfast this morning. yum. if you ever go to vancouver you ought to go to the cupcake store!

car alarms and television

For Christmas I got a car alarm installed in my car. It was kind of nice, but I didn't really think it too necessary and after tonight I strongly dislike it. I was going to bible study with two friends and when we got out of my car (in the middle of a subdivision i might add), the alarm started going off. The horn just kept blaring and the hazard lights kept flashing. Finally after about five minutes, it turned off and stayed off. It was kind of funny, because we were all standing in the pouring rain trying to turn it off. Three hours later (later as in the children in this subdivision are probably sleeping), the moment i unlock my car doors, the alarm resumes. Not desiring to wake up the whole neighborhood, we quickly drove away (may i mention that the car alarm was still going off...) So here we are driving along with the horn blaring intermittently and the hazards flashing. I tried taking side roads home to have less people stare. On the middle of the drive home, the alarm stopped. I was happy...Until it started going off again upon my arrival home. After a while it has turned off but there is a little symbol of a hammer smashing the window on my controller. I sit here nervous, hoping it won't go off again, or in the middle of my peaceful slumber... Amidst my frustration, I did think it hilarious that we were driving along the road with the horn blasting every second. We were laughing quite hard.

Lately I've been thinking about how I should watch more television. But when I actually think about that, i realize that is not such a bright idea (for me). I usually don't watch tv and am quite happy with that. I know I would enjoy it and get sucked in and it would make me think things I shouldn't think, hope for things and situations I don't have and be discontent and dissatisfied with life. Yet more and more my flesh longs for it. I am glad to be aware that this idea was from my flesh though.

Home Sweet Home

Well after a long and adventurous day, I am home, surrounded by chaos in my room. As I'm here more and more, the more peace I receive about being here and not in India. It just feels right as a matter of fact. I keep thinking I should email people and tell them I'm here, because no one knows, and they all act really shocked to see me. Kind of fun though. I'm excited for what God has in store for me these next few months. It will be very interesting. I might apply for Starbucks tomorrow.

And just now I received very exciting news: LESLIE'S COMING TO VISIT ON WEDNESDAY!!! That's in two days and I'm very excited to see her and hang out with her. It will be lots of fun. And so now I will go and organize my stuff that was packed for India along with the stuff that just came back from Ontario, along with all my Christmas chaos. Should be fun. But it will all be accompanied with this growing sense of peace and joy in me.

Moving On

So my time in Ontario has come to an end. It truly was a wonderful. Seeing family and friends, getting a chance to relax and seeing some interesting things along the way as well. I stayed with my relatives in Waterloo, then went to say with some friends, Jim and Liz for about five days and then I spent the weekend in St. Catherine's. Part of the time was spent simply resting and relaxing which was so good. Hard for me to do, because I'm used to have my days jammed packed, but it's good to simply come back to being still before the Lord.

I've been reminded a lot recently again and again about the truth that it's all about Christ's life in and through me! I keep reverting back to my flesh and my own efforts. But He's enough, and I"m definately not.

I must go pack my suitcase before I get picked up by my friends Paul and Michelle. Will stay in Toronto tonight before my early morning flight!! Here I come British Columbia and then ten million people who will ask me why I"m not in India!!